Sometimes, talking dirty with your partner can save your relationship. Here's an essential guide to risque conversations in bed.
When Akansha (name changed), 25, catches up with her female friends over a coffee, the conversation invariably drifts towards sex, she says. She shares details with them that she could never tell her boyfriend. It's easier, she says, to talk to them about sexual preferences; what works and what doesn't than her live-in partner.
"Our love life runs a decent track record. I have no complaints but I may have some pointers," she says. On an average, the couple has sex once a week. "It is always initiated by him. I have tried to do the same but he claims to be busy or preoccupied.
On more than one occasion, it ended in a fight. So I don't broach the topic. I still don't understand what the problem is," she says, admitting that she hasn't asked him so outright.
Akansha's problem is a common one, says Dr Rajan Bhonsle, head of the department of sexual medicine, KEM. He calls it the silent epidemic. "In a majority of the cases I see, communication is the biggest problem. Once they have talked about what is bothering them, they are able to sort it out easily," he says.
It is possible, says Bhonsle that a couple may communicate well on other issues but shy away when it comes to talking about sex. "Women face this problem more because it is built into their belief system that their partner's satisfaction is primary. They put their needs last," says Dr Shyam Mithiya, consultant psychiatrist and sexologist, Seven Hills Hospital. In 70 per cent of the cases he gets, he says, women admitted that they didn't mention their preferences.